In just the last two years I haven’t totally felt like myself. I had two kids back to back and got swept in the mom life without staying true to myself. It honestly took a toll on my mental health and just overall outlook on myself. I was showing up every day, but I felt like I was just going through the motions. I was there but I wasn’t ACTUALLY THERE. Then I would go to sleep at night and do it all over again the next day… and the next day. I realized I needed to find myself again, find out what I love to do for myself. As much as I love my husband and kids, I needed to schedule some me time. Here are 6 things mom should do without the kids to help you find yourself again.
Go on a walk/run alone.
Get outside, some fresh air and the sun will feel amazing. There are days when the kids are yelling and fighting, and I can’t even hear what is going on in my own head let alone think. So, I will pop in some headphones turn on a podcast or just some music and go for a quick walk around the neighborhood. It doesn’t have to be a long walk but just get out and clear your head. Listen to the peace and quiet of the birds and remind yourself how good of a life you have.
I always have to remind myself if I am on the edge that “it is just a bad day, not a bad life”. Not only will this give you time to relax but it is also good time to really think and assess the things going on in your life and what you want to do. Use this time to set personal goals or work goals.
Read a book alone.
Normally I am not a book person, but I just found a series that I have been loving. There are days after the hustle and bustle of the crazy kids that I just crave quiet time. Turn the TV off, put my phone away, and curl up on the couch with a good book and a blanket to just get lost in someone else’s world. As a stay at home mom sometimes I miss the feeling of learning and growing. Reading a good self-improvement book keeps your mind working and thinking about what you can do to work on yourself. It also gives you something to think about when you are on that walk with yourself.
Watch a movie alone.
Do you ever have those days when it has a been a busy week and all you really want to do is just sit and do nothing? Forget about the dishes and the laundry those things can wait. My last two points were about trying to keep your brain strong and sane by taking time for yourself and thinking for yourself. Now is the time to give your brain a rest. Curl up on the couch with your favorite drink and snack and just watch a movie by yourself.
How many times do you sit on the couch with your husband and you really want to watch a sappy movie or a chick flick and they just huff at the thought. Well this time send your hubby to his own space and watch what you want to watch. I love staying up late and watching a movie by myself when everyone else is in bed and the house is quiet.
My recent motto has been “shopping is cheaper than therapy.” In all seriousness though trying to go to the store with the kids is torcher sometimes. This one is whining and that one is hungry, and then you leave the store without milk and that’s the only thing you went in there for. I love my late-night target runs, and if you are a mama that goes to the store after 7pm when the kids are in bed, look around and see who else is in target. YUP! All the other moms that need to just stroll through the isles by themselves.
Sometimes I feel like Jimmy has more hobbies than I do, and he can do them, like sports. I enjoy watching sports as well, but he is the one that gets to go to the games, or races. He goes and plays basketball or golf with the guys. Recently I have found that putting time towards my own hobbies has made me feel l like myself again. I can be a mom and a writer; I can be a mom and a crafter. Mom life came quickly for me and although I am not complaining at all, it was time I find myself again. Start doing the things that I loved doing before kids. If there was something you did pre-babies pick it up again or try something new!
Meet up with a friend alone.
I am at the stage in my life where I have some friends that have kids and some that don’t. Yes, it is great to get together with those friends that also have kids and let them play together but the amount of times we get interrupted and have to play referee is distracting. And when you meet up with the friends that don’t have kids’ conversations seem hard to navigate and like my mind is elsewhere, do I talk about the kids do I not talk about the kids, if the kids are with me are they going to behave or will I have to up and leave early. The other week I texted my one friend and told her the day I had been having and she said it was the same at her house. So, there we were on a Saturday afternoon meeting up to go SHOPPING together while we left the kids at home, napping, with their dads. It was the best 2 hours I had in a long time!
Thank you, Kayla, I know you are reading this!
Mama, if you are struggling a bit I hope some of these help! Make time for you! Take yourself off the back burner, you are still a priority.
Please! Tell me what you would add to this list! What are some other things mom should do without the kids that help grow you as a person? Let me know in the comments below!